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I never thought this would be my destiny, but these things can't be helped. You will be used to sharing freaking hotel rooms at Dinah Shore. There will be tension at Pride. No one ever explained to me that when I'd get into a relationship with another woman, our cycles would get linked up. What am I going to say to a weirdo artist with pink hair? We can instinctively tell when you're feeling it or not feeling it.

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There will occasionally be a liquor-fueled brawl at a gay club. No one ever explained to me that when I'd get into a relationship with another woman, our cycles would get linked up. When I had sex with boys, I faked orgasms all the time. Mainly the conservative politicians trying to stop me from having basic human rights. I knew it was going to be awkward to out myself in the work place because, you know, I had watched "Queer As Folk"and I got those kinds of things. You will feed each other's meltdowns.

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