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Secrecy of this kind breeds nothing but shame, more secrecy, and sometimes even violence , resulting in a vicious cycle that can keep us stuck in damaging patterns of embarrassment and guilt. What will they think of me? A study done at Pennsylvania State University found that, starting in 6th grade, girls who have sex are more likely to lose friends while boys who have sex gain them. When was the last time you had your period? I would sneak to the store and buy tampons instead.

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If you're a menstrual activist, you probably already know the name Jennifer Weiss-Wolf.

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What he also did was tell me not to tell anyone. This request for secrecy made me feel ashamed, dirty even. In the same study, researchers found that girls gained peer approval for making out with boys, but lost it for having intercourse, further perpetuating the societal construct that a fine line has to be walked between being not sexual enough and too sexual. People who have periods have been taught by society that their menstruation is dirty, shameful, and embarrassing. This unintentional slut-shaming made me feel like I did something wrong and deterred me from telling my parents of any other sexual encounters throughout my adolescence and even into adulthood. When I told my parents about the kiss, the reaction perpetuated the cycle even more.

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